Have you ever found yourself in a place in life when you realize it’s about that time to start making new friends? Whether it’s a move to a new city, having recently graduated from college and all your friends are now scattered about or some other transition that life can often bring, most of us have probably been in a position of searching for new friendships. And, for some of us, this can be an intimidating process.
Having moved many times in my life, with the most recent move being 3 months ago, I would love to say that I am in expert in the area of building new relationships. However, being an introvert at heart, putting myself out there in order to form relationships has not always (and still doesn’t) come naturally for me. I’ve had to learn to open up more and invite people into my life. There are periods where I’ve done really well at this and periods where I haven’t done so well. So, here are a few things I have learned, in my victories and my failures, to remember in pursuing new friendships.
Be intentional and take the initiative. Don’t always wait for someone to come up and try to get to know you first. This will happen sometimes, but remember, you’re the one who knows you want to meet people. Take that first step.
Just invite. Don’t over think it. See if they would want to get together sometime. My sister and I recently had a funny phone conversation about how awkward it can feel when considering asking a new acquaintance we’d like to build a friendship with if she wants to grab a cup of coffee and chat sometime. If you’re anything like me, you start to wonder, “What if they really aren’t interested but feel pressured to say yes?” or “What if they aren’t looking for anymore friends?” or “What if they say thanks, but no thanks?” or… or… the worried questions create themselves. Get rid of those insecurities (and we’ve all got ‘em) fast!
Think about how you feel when someone wants to get to know you. Most likely you are happy about it. Who doesn’t like to be asked if they want to hang out?
Plant yourself where you’re at. No matter how long you plan on staying in a certain area (6 months, 1 year, 3 years, or longer), invest yourself there fully for the time that you are there. The time you spend there can be precious and you will look back on it with a lot more fondness and joy if you make it a point to build friendships.
What has been your experience with building new friendships? Any other insights on this topic? I'd love to hear them since I'll be moving again in just over 5 months!
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